@DadandBuried: 6yo: What's for dinner?
Me: Pork medallions.
6: I HATE THOSE!
Me: I'll give you $1000 if you can tell me what either pork or medallions are.
@DadandBuried: Literally nothing makes me more angry than watching my kid yawn an hour after he dragged me out of bed at 5am.
@DadandBuried: I'm so sick of everyone asking if I *really* hate my kids. They're just jokes, people. Annoying, inconvenient jokes who are ruining my life.
@DadandBuried: My baby reminds me of Freddy Kruger: he's got long, sharp fingernails, is most terrifying at night, and forces you to survive on no sleep.
@DadandBuried: I like having multiple children because that way if one doesn't happen to be screaming there's always another around to pick up the slack.
@DadandBuried: Doing LEGO with my son is like assisting during surgery.
6yo: Flat gray piece.
6: 5 square red blocks.
6: I said RED!
@DadandBuried: As far as I'm concerned, anyone who suggests I should have a third child is committing a hate crime.
@DadandBuried: My 6yo is arguing with me over what day of the week it is.
Have kids, they said.
@DadandBuried: They say kids grow up fast but I just licked my thumb & wiped my son's face so parents grow up fast too. I've already become my grandmother.