@DadandBuried: Me: You gotta get dressed, kiddo, we’re leaving soon.
Me: Get dressed, please.
Me: Please get dressed.
Me: Hurry up and get dressed.
Me: Put your clothes on.
Me: We have to leave in 3 minutes!
Me: GET DRESSED RIGHT NOW!!!!!
7yo: Ok! Don’t yell at me!
@DadandBuried: Time zones shouldn’t be based on geography, they should be based on age. For example, you may think it’s only 10:30, but for a 40yo, it’s actually two in the morning.
@DadandBuried: Netflix and chil...dren.
Because letting them watch TV in the morning is the only way I can get a little extra sleep.
@DadandBuried: *decorating the tree*
6yo: Dad, can I help?
Me: Of course! First we string the lights, then we show Mommy & she tells us what we did wrong.
@DadandBuried: Get married and have kids so you can spend your Saturday going apple picking instead of doing LITERALLY ANYTHING ELSE.
@DadandBuried: "Wow, Dad, you had two beers and then ANOTHER ONE?!"
- My 3yo, auditioning for a new family.
@DadandBuried: 6yo: What's for dinner?
Me: Pork medallions.
6: I HATE THOSE!
Me: I'll give you $1000 if you can tell me what either pork or medallions are.
@DadandBuried: Literally nothing makes me more angry than watching my kid yawn an hour after he dragged me out of bed at 5am.