@DaddyJew: Interviewer: how competitive are you?
Me: not very
Interviewer: neither am I
Me: nice...but I'm less competitive
@DaddyJew: Interviewer: do you work well under pressure?
Me: Jesus Christ man, I'm thinking
@DaddyJew: Interviewer: why did you leave your last job?
[flashback to me starting a fight club in the retirement home]
Me: creative differences
@DaddyJew: Me: did you do your homework?
7: idk how
Me: it's ok, we'll do it together
Isn't there somebody in your class we can call?
@DaddyJew: At this age in my life I thought I was going to much wealthier than I am now
Subway: so no extra cheese?
Me: *checks wallet* not today Carol
@DaddyJew: If someone steals your identity, you should have every right to kill them. What are they gonna do, arrest you for suicide?
@DaddyJew: Nurse friend: where can I get some scrubs?
Me: idk, probably hanging at the passenger side of his best friend's ride trying to holler at me