@DaddyJew: Gf: on a scale from 1-10, how annoyed are you with me right now?
Gf: I can do better than that
@DaddyJew: Parent: my child's reading at a 3rd grade level, what reading level is your son at?
Me: he knows some curse words but not all of them yet
@DaddyJew: Me: I'm gonna be late
Me: *stealthily following a chicken after it crossed the road* I'm solving a mystery
@DaddyJew: I talk a lot of shit for someone who still says "righty tighty lefty loosy" before turning anything
@DaddyJew: Interviewer: what's your biggest weakness?
Me: im very straight forward
I: doesn't sound like a weakness
M: you look stupid in that tie
@DaddyJew: 7: can I have a pop tart?
Me: we're going to eat dinner soon
7: this will be my dinner
Me: fine but at least have a strawberry one