@DanLaMorte: I was on a date with a girl and she said "did you notice my finger nails?" And I was like "yes" and she was like "well I have no arms"
@DanLaMorte: Kids here's a tip. Next Christmas leave Santa marijuana cookies and watch how happy your parents magically become the next morning
@DanLaMorte: 21st century kid on Santa's lap-"Yo santa, some more insta followers would be real dope for Christmas. Thanks bruh bruh"
@DanLaMorte: I look at beautiful girls the same way I look at traffic. Meaning that I'm stuck and going nowhere with them