Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of Deurb1's best tweets

@Deurb1 : I remember a friend asking me why I had a bottle of wine in my car, I said I got it for my wife... He said good trade...

@Deurb1: The lady in front of me wearing yoga pants keeps bending over to pick up quarters, hope she will for dimes too, as I'm out of quarters.

@Deurb1: Piss off the DJ by dancing the Macarena to all his music.

@Deurb1: She sent me a text saying she wearing something special for me...
but every time I ask her what, she says ~ Nothing.

@Deurb1: While fixing my neighbors car I asked her for a screwdriver...
She asked if I had orange juice.
We've been dating since.

@Deurb1: Why do they play this music on the elevators if we're not suppose to slow dance:)

@Deurb1: Six inches of snow predicted tonight:
Is that twitter 6" | |
Subway 6" | |
Real life 6" | |
Or Dan 6" | | Cheesecake

@Deurb1: The term drinks like a fish is my family crest at an open bar:P