@DevilryFun: Before marriage: fantasizes spending life together.
After marriage: fantasizes spending life insurance alone.
@DevilryFun: Looking back, my financial health took a turn for the worse right after I broke my piggy bank.
@DevilryFun: You don't need a therapist when you have a strong support group around your barstool.
@DevilryFun: I'm so tired, I'm thinking of visiting my grandma just so I can take a swig outta her oxygen tank.
@DevilryFun: You can count on your dog to be the first responder when anything or anyone drops to the floor.
@DevilryFun: While I might feel unsure how to react, my middle finger is well versed in handling stupid people.
@DevilryFun: Wish a poltergeist would move in so there'd be someone else to blame when I lose my shit.