@DillDoes: [god inventing animals]
okay here's a new one. It's an umbrella
made out of jello
and it electrocutes things
@DillDoes: Salamanders are the most passive aggressive animal. You grab their tail and they're like "have that one, I don't even want it"
@DillDoes: *throws king crab into tank of normal crabs*
Go, lead them to freedom, this is your birthright
"What'll you have"
"You want it neat"
*bartender throws some crumbs and hair in my whisky*
@DillDoes: Being a worm must great. Its like "wow that dirt was great I hope there's more" and there always is
@DillDoes: Sir it would appear that you have sugar poisoning
"You mean Diabetes?"
Ooh look at me, I'm a patient that knows all the diseases ooh
@DillDoes: *walking in forest*
*tree falls and makes a loud noise*
*tree gets up*
*tree pull a knife on me*
"You didn't hear SHIT"
*tree runs off*
@DillDoes: *Burglar breaks into my room*
*he looks around*
*he softly wakes me up*
Dude do you need some money or something? I'd be happy to help
@DillDoes: hello 911
"whats your emergency"
there's someone in my home
"are you safe?"
it's a girl
"do you like her"
*starts twirling hair*
I dont know