Funny Tweeter

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Page of Diversion50's best tweets

@Diversion50 : My worst case scenarios: •A case falling on me. •Being hit with a case. •Being locked inside a case. •Carrying a case for a long distance.

@Diversion50: POLICE OFFICER: Your name?

MAN: The Rock.

POLICE OFFICER: Your FULL name?

MAN: [quietly] Theodore Rockinghorse.

@Diversion50: "There's someone out there for everyone".

A really vague Receptionist.

@Diversion50: Who called it Star Trek III - The Search For Spock and not Finding Nemoy?

@Diversion50: I was on a search party in the forest last night.

Bit of a boring party.

We found a dead guy though.

@Diversion50: I like to imagine the person who originated Head & Shoulders shampoo had really, really hairy shoulders.

@Diversion50: It still really upsets me that my dog stopped talking to me around the same time I gave up taking hallucinogenic drugs.

@Diversion50: The letter n always has to be the centre of attention.

@Diversion50: Appendi
Appendii
Appendiii
Appendiv
Appendv
Appendvi
Appendvii
Appendviii
Appendix

@Diversion50: My Grandfathers dying words to me were, "Are you still holding the ladder?".