Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of Donna_McCoy's best tweets

@Donna_McCoy : I only do cardio because it's impossible to stalk someone you can't keep up with.

@Donna_McCoy: I can't remember the ending of one single movie I've seen since they started selling booze in theaters.

@Donna_McCoy: Getting away from it all is great until you realize there's no pizza delivery.

@Donna_McCoy: It wasn't a crisis until my mother heard about it.

@Donna_McCoy: Not to say I'm reckless, but my guardian angel wears a blindfold.

@Donna_McCoy: Why eat high-calorie yogurt when you can just have ice cream for breakfast instead?

@Donna_McCoy: Until I got married I didn't even know it was possible to chew bubblegum arrogantly.

@Donna_McCoy: I can really relate to pi because I also keep going forever after the point has been made.

@Donna_McCoy: Stopping to get donuts for the office only works as an excuse for being late if the box isn't empty.

@Donna_McCoy: The seance was ruined when everyone realized that the only spirit speaking through me was vodka.