@Donna_McCoy: Why eat high-calorie yogurt when you can just have ice cream for breakfast instead?
@Donna_McCoy: Until I got married I didn't even know it was possible to chew bubblegum arrogantly.
@Donna_McCoy: I can really relate to pi because I also keep going forever after the point has been made.
@Donna_McCoy: Stopping to get donuts for the office only works as an excuse for being late if the box isn't empty.
@Donna_McCoy: The seance was ruined when everyone realized that the only spirit speaking through me was vodka.
@Donna_McCoy: Growing up, my weather app was a window. Now I need two forecasts and a radar map just to decide how I should do my hair.
@Donna_McCoy: Friend: I wish this candy bar had less calories.
Me: Let me see it...
*eats half and hands it back*