Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of Donna_McCoy's best tweets

@Donna_McCoy : Getting away from it all is great until you realize there's no pizza delivery.

@Donna_McCoy: It wasn't a crisis until my mother heard about it.

@Donna_McCoy: Not to say I'm reckless, but my guardian angel wears a blindfold.

@Donna_McCoy: Why eat high-calorie yogurt when you can just have ice cream for breakfast instead?

@Donna_McCoy: Until I got married I didn't even know it was possible to chew bubblegum arrogantly.

@Donna_McCoy: I can really relate to pi because I also keep going forever after the point has been made.

@Donna_McCoy: Stopping to get donuts for the office only works as an excuse for being late if the box isn't empty.

@Donna_McCoy: The seance was ruined when everyone realized that the only spirit speaking through me was vodka.

@Donna_McCoy: Growing up, my weather app was a window. Now I need two forecasts and a radar map just to decide how I should do my hair.

@Donna_McCoy: Friend: I wish this candy bar had less calories.

Me: Let me see it...

*eats half and hands it back*

...wish granted.