@Donna_McCoy: Trainer: Diet to hit your goal weight.
Me: Then what?
Trainer: Diet forever to maintain it.
Me: *heading to Pizza Hut* Nvm.
@Donna_McCoy: You don't hear much about Snow White's eighth dwarf, but they should never have trusted Clumsy with an axe.
@Donna_McCoy: I would rather that you'd just paid some of my bills, but thanks for this combination rubik's cube/pepper grinder.
@Donna_McCoy: Shout out to whoever scheduled Valentine's candy to show up just as we're all giving up on New Year resolutions.
@Donna_McCoy: I update my Facebook picture to a jail mugshot over the holidays so my family will go visit someone else.
@Donna_McCoy: I'm looking at the serving size of Laughing Cow cheese and I see why the cow is laughing.
@Donna_McCoy: Baby showers are fun until someone has too much champagne and starts a plastic knife fight over a corner piece of cake.
I need a ride home.