Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of DothTheDoth's best tweets

@DothTheDoth : Find you a freak in the sheets & a librarian in the library.

@DothTheDoth: Practice self-care like a star, be lonely and distant & allow nothing to survive on your surface.

@DothTheDoth: Practice self-care like werewolves: carry deeply emotional secrets everywhere you go & once a month eat the hearts of all who have wronged you.

@DothTheDoth: I like my women like I like my woods: haunted & can kill me at any moment.

@DothTheDoth: Sure sex is cool, but have you ever pulled an old book off a bookcase, opened a secret door & were never seen again

@DothTheDoth: If you're walking by an abandoned bookstore & the front door opens for no reason, go into that bookstore.

@DothTheDoth: Be the reason why the lights flicker when you enter a room

@DothTheDoth: Practice self-care like vampires: sleep all day, eat all night & outlive everyone who has ever loved you.

@DothTheDoth: If you're walking past an old abandoned house & the front door opens for no reason, go into that house.

@DothTheDoth: Of course I have body issues, I can't explode into a thousand crows.