Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of DothTheDoth's best tweets

@DothTheDoth : Of course I have body issues, I can't explode into a thousand crows.

@DothTheDoth: I’m goth enough to know that when your basement door opens for no apparent reason, you walk down those steps.

@DothTheDoth: Be the reason why your priest clutches their rosary when they look at you.

@DothTheDoth: As your goth healthcare advisor I urge you to sit by a fire, look out a window briefly, then continue reading about demonology.

@DothTheDoth: Don't invite me over unless you are trying to secretly transfer a cursed object to me.

@DothTheDoth: I like my women like I like my ancient staircases, curvy and can send me straight to hell.

@DothTheDoth: Hungover? Hydrate. Anxious? Hydrate. Want to advance Satan’s agenda here on Earth? Hydrate.

@DothTheDoth: Dracula had it right, sleep all day, live alone in a castle & explode into a thousand bats to get out of social situations.

@DothTheDoth: If you know someone who is effortlessly happy all the time, that's a demon. You're friends with a demon.

@DothTheDoth: As your goth healthcare provider I urge you to drink water. There is nothing more attractive or intimidating than a hydrated goth.