Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of DrDogMD's best tweets

@DrDogMD : PATIENT: I bet medical school was pretty tough DR DOG: yeah I remember one time I did an assignment 4 times bc I ate the first 3 copies lol

@DrDogMD: NURSE: ur concerned about ur patient huh? Youve been pacing in circles for 10 mins
DR DOG: haha no im just trying to find a spot to lie down

@DrDogMD: NURSE: I promise. It's ok. You can come in.
MAILMAN (trembling): are..are you sure
DR DOG: *locked in his office just going freakin nuts*

@DrDogMD: COW: I'm constipated
DR DOG: when was ur last bowel moooo-vement lol
C: ur doing puns right now?
DD: gonna milk this for all its worth lmao

@DrDogMD: DR DOG: *gives kid patient a sucker*
MOM: what do u say
KID: thanks mr dog
DD: kid I didnt go to med school for 56 years to be called Mr Dog

@DrDogMD: PATIENT: I've been so stressed out lately. What can I do?
DR DOG (tail wagging like crazy): Studies show that petting dogs relieve stress

@DrDogMD: PATIENT: How tough was medical school for a dog like you?
DR DOG: *thinking back on all the homework he ate* It wasn't easy

@DrDogMD: DR DOG: Please remove your shoes & step on the scale
DR DOG: I'll be right back *carries the shoes out of the room in his mouth*

@DrDogMD: DR DOG: We need to talk about your weight.
PATIENT: I'm not fat. I'm just big boned.
DR DOG: *drooling everywhere* Just how big exactly?

@DrDogMD: DR DOG: have you been taking your diabetes meds daily?
DR DOG: *hits him on the nose with a rolled up newspaper* Bad patient!