@E_lok44: 90% of marriage is turning on a loud appliance when your spouse calls out to you from another room.
@E_lok44: I got my husband to watch Game of Thrones with me by telling him "Just wait. There's a good car chase comin' up"
@E_lok44: Pro tip:
If you really want to make an impact, always have a mouth full of saliva before you "shhh" someone.
@E_lok44: You know that runny food on your plate that touches all the other food? That's you, butting into a conversation.
You're creamed corn.
@E_lok44: Feel like you're falling apart? Coming undone? Can't keep it together?
You should have eaten more paste as a child.