Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of EamonToPlease's best tweets

@EamonToPlease : My TWILIGHT ZONE plot idea: The sole survivor of the apocalypse finally has time to listen to podcasts but still doesn't feel like it.

@EamonToPlease: [baby is bouncing in swing seat]

I
I wish I had one of those.

HER DAD
They bring great joy.

I (to self)
Oh, he thinks I mean a baby.

@EamonToPlease: My phone just sent me an unsolicited hockey score. Aren't there Japanese horror films that start this way?