Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of El_nacho_Nigre's best tweets

@El_nacho_Nigre : Legend has it if u whisper IKEA 3x in the mirror an extra screw will appear & you'll be haunted by the piece of furniture you ill-assembled.

@El_nacho_Nigre: "Gotta wake up early"

*sets alarm for 5am*

*wakes up at 4:55am to cancel alarm*

*goes back to sleep*

@El_nacho_Nigre: If someone catches you doing something inappropriate don't stop, just do it slowly while keeping eye contact.

@El_nacho_Nigre: My life would be so much better if I could use a smokebomb to conceal my escape after being turned down by a girl.

@El_nacho_Nigre: Why does the bad guy always have to know some form of martial art? Why cant they just throw stuff while screaming "stay away from me!"

@El_nacho_Nigre: I feel so alive when I watch an object fall and shatter into hundreds of pieces. Not alive enough to clean up the mess though.

@El_nacho_Nigre: So, if 4 out of 5 people suffer some medical condition, does that mean the other 1 person enjoys it?