Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of ElizaBayne's best tweets

@ElizaBayne : HOT SINGLES HAVE MIGRATED AWAY FROM YOUR AREA DUE TO CLIMATE CHANGE

@ElizaBayne: Ashley Madison website is having problems. But instead of addressing them directly, it'll just look for a younger hotter website on the side

@ElizaBayne: To all the men out there without ponytails: What are you afraid of? SUCCESS???

@ElizaBayne: You're not a geek or a nerd because you always have to have the latest high tech gadgets and electronics. YOU'RE RICH

@ElizaBayne: This Viagra show looks cool but they keep cutting away to football

@ElizaBayne: If the British had won, today we'd all be celebrating the Fouurth of July

@ElizaBayne: Kesha dropping the $ sign from her name just shows how bad the economy really is

@ElizaBayne: My nickname is Gilette because I'm the best a man can get. Also, I will cut you

@ElizaBayne: If you accidentally get stuck holding the door for a bunch of people. 1. Relax 2. Accept your fate 3. You are part of the building now