@ElleOhHell: AMAZON: Your 11 year old niece has a birthday coming up and she loves horses
ALSO AMAZON: do you wanna buy like a sword or a manhole cover or something
@ElleOhHell: If Wonder Woman and Spider-Man go into business together, they should call it Amazon Web Services.
@ElleOhHell: I'll bet when Godzilla first came out, God was like "Damn, that name's way cooler."
@ElleOhHell: A great way to make people nervous is to tell them where the bathroom is without their asking.
@ElleOhHell: He's GUILTY! KILL HIM! Inject poison DIRECTLY INTO HIS VEINS!
But first give him whatever he wants to eat; we're not savages.
@ElleOhHell: UNCLE: Officers weren't even safe from their own men in Vietnam.
ME: I've just decided it's too hard to zoom in on any more dogs' noses.