Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of FabMommy29's best tweets

@FabMommy29 : If you wear oversized sweats to the grocery store, and an attractive man smiles at you, is it a flirty smile or a pity smile?

@FabMommy29: Roses are red
Violets are blue
I need a nap,
and a cheeseburger too.

@FabMommy29: Roses are red
Violets are blue
I need another cup of coffee
And a donut, too.

@FabMommy29: “Don’t let anyone treat you like free salsa. You are guac, baby girl. Guac.”

@FabMommy29: But wait.....does your wife know that you’re divorced?

@FabMommy29: If you’re happy and you know it....it’s the wine.