@Flattliner: I don't have a friend called Louise.
If I did I would always be saying "Jeez Louise" to her.
Then I wouldn't have a friend called Louise.
@Flattliner: The last time Twitter was down I was forced to speak to real people.
Real people go on and on and on and on, for way over 140 characters...
@Flattliner: People who drive very slowly cause me cognitive dissonance.
They deserve to die, but appear less likely to do so...
@Flattliner: Whoever said that blood is thicker than water is plainly
a) Fond of stating the obvious, and
b) Not a member of my family.
@Flattliner: I'm introducing a new calendar system:
B.C. = Before Children.
A.D. = After Divorce.
@Flattliner: I wish my wife was better in bed.
I wish my WiFi was better in bed.
@Flattliner: Rearrange the letters P-N-E-S-I to spell out an important part of human anatomy that is more useful when it is erect.