Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of FredPollack's best tweets

@FredPollack : I bet the first mohawk was created by a guy trying to even out his sideburns.

@FredPollack: Flirting is a way of life, the moment you stop is when you're dead ... then your spouse cleans the gun and places it in your hand.

@FredPollack: Had trouble sleeping today. They added a trumpeter to this morning's church service.

@FredPollack: I'm 72 minutes in trying to reverse whatever my 3 y/o nephew did in one second to the TV remote.

@FredPollack: Found a bag of weed in my son's bedroom, absolutely horrified! The thing was practically all stems and seeds.