@FrogAvalanche: Hi, Id like to buy a Nutri-Bullet, pls.
Salesperson: Ah, nice. Off on a cleanse or health kick?
Yes. *imagines drinking lasagna* For sure.
@FrogAvalanche: -Where was I conceived, dad?
Dad: Ahh *rubs back of neck* At the Bellagio in Las Vegas.
Dad: Wd I lie to u, Bestwestern Broomcloset?
One smoker left in the world. The Quit Smoking ads get personal.
HEY KEVIN, STOP SMOKING. YOU STINK. YOUR WIFE SAYS YOU NEED VIAGRA.
@FrogAvalanche: [two atoms side-to-side on a DNA chain]
"Hi. U look familiar. Were u on A3564β before it went supernova?"
"U still owe me $20."
@FrogAvalanche: Drug Dealer: U have to tell me if ur a cop.
Cop: U have to tell me if ur a dealer.
DD: U sure?
Cop: Ya Im a cop, I know laws Oh damn it.
@FrogAvalanche: "Dad, I cant sleep."
Dad: [enters chugging a Monster] SLEEP IS DEAD. GET A JOB.
"Dad Im seven-"
Dad: SO WERE THE DWARVES BUT THEY HAD JOBS.
@FrogAvalanche: *inside camp-out tent*
*puts torch under chin*
"-a scary story?"
*flicks torch on, it vibrates*
"OMG. ITS. NOT. A. TORCH."
@FrogAvalanche: *National Spelling Bee Final
- Spell cyclops.
- Use in a sentence.
- Cyclops have one eye.
*winks at audience