@FunkyFresh_79: [Star Wars Episode VII scene]
Princess Leia: I love you Han.
Han Solo: *favs but doesn't reply*
@FunkyFresh_79: Greatest days of my life:
3) Day I got married
2) Day my first kid was born
1) Day Facebook let you turn off notifications for their games
@FunkyFresh_79: [on a first date]
Ok, don't let her know you're really a squirrel...
Her: I had a great time, good night!
Me: *runs in front of her car
@FunkyFresh_79: Cinco De Mayo
Cinco De Ketchup
Cinco De Mustard
Cinco De Siracha
Cinco De Ranch Dressing
@FunkyFresh_79: Operator: 911 what's your emergency?
Me: PEOPLE ARE TAGGING ME IN PICTURES ON FACEBOOK AND I'M NOT EVEN IN THEM!