Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of GianDoh's best tweets

@GianDoh : Me: I think I'm suffering from auditory hallucinations. Narrator: There was no narrator.

@GianDoh: (wine tasting)

WOW THIS ONE TASTES LIKE WINE TOO. I'M LIKE 5 FOR 5 NOW. KEEP 'EM COMIN'!

@GianDoh: Bartender: What'll It be?

Stephen King: A novel at first, then a tv miniseries, then a movie.

@GianDoh: The Wizard of Oz (1939): A Kansas runaway discovers the psychedelic powers of blunt-force head trauma.

@GianDoh: All toilet seats can be heated toilet seats if you push people off them and sit real fast.

@GianDoh: Freak out your neighbors by removing one member of their stick figure decal family each night.

@GianDoh: If someone says "With all due respect," what follows is the verbal equivalent of a captive chimp hurling feces at you.

@GianDoh: *Hits Rock Bottom*

Dwayne Johnson: I have a boyfriend.

@GianDoh: Star Wars (1977): A wounded warrior overcomes severe burn injuries to build a massive empire only to see his estranged son destroy it.

@GianDoh: The opening ceremony for our ribbon repair business was pretty confusing.