@GinAndJif: A guy just revved his engine and drove off really quick so I had to chase him for three miles to tell him I don't want to have sex with him.
@GinAndJif: If you encounter someone who is massively overreacting to something, calm them down by laughing at them.
@GinAndJif: When animals lick each other it's bonding, but when I do it at work as part of a team building exercise it's all "inappropriate" & "call HR"
@GinAndJif: My boyfriend is tall, strong, protective and flashes me regularly.
Oh no wait. I'm thinking of a lighthouse again.
@GinAndJif: "Dave's coming for dinner tonight."
"Dave from work or Dave who misquotes Disney...?"
@GinAndJif: Girls, if you're gonna shave your eyebrows off just to draw them on again, at least make them interesting. How about drawing two umbrellas?
@GinAndJif: Don'tcha wish your g/f was fun like me?
Don'tcha wish your g/f was a freak like me?
*regurgitates a jellyfish*