@GlennyRodge: COMPUTER: Enter password
ME: [types '14days']
COMPUTER: Your password is two week
COMPUTER: Computer do joke. Computer funny.
@GlennyRodge: A horse walks into a bar. The batman asks "why the long..." "wait a minute, did you see that typo?" interrupts the horse.
@GlennyRodge: Whenever I left a door open, my mum would ask if I was born in a barn, which is odd because you'd think she'd remember something like that.
@GlennyRodge: Just tried a kids meal in McDonald's. Unfortunately, her dad chased me away before I got any of her chips.
@GlennyRodge: My bear's diarrhoea problems are starting to worry me. The vet says he's getting better but he's not out of the woods yet.
@GlennyRodge: "Do you like Tolstoy?"
"Of course. Who doesn't?"
"What's your favourite book?"
"The one where Woody is kidnapped & Buzz tries to save him".
@GlennyRodge: "ENTER PASSWORD"
"ERROR. PASSWORDS MUST BE IDENTICAL".
@GlennyRodge: "My dog's learning to speak a foreign language."
"No, he's a labrador."