Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of Go2Slp's best tweets

@Go2Slp : Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to start the journey from I Can't Breathe Without You to I'll Choke You Out In Public.

@Go2Slp: What flavor is the milkshake? How far away is the yard? How could you know its better than mine? You seem, frankly, a bit overconfident.

@Go2Slp: I like Ohio's abbreviation because any address sounds like you just realized where you are and you're not super pleased about it.

@Go2Slp: How to sports:

- Take a ball
- Put it someplace someone else doesn't want you to put it
- Congratulations you've now sportsed

@Go2Slp: 4: can we name the baby Yoko?

Me: well Yoko is a Japanese name

4: if the baby is Japanese can we name it Yoko?

Me: ...

4: ...

Me: yes

@Go2Slp: Mufasa didn't die, he just went out for a pack of smokes and a newspaper.

- The Lyin' King

@Go2Slp: How to get laid:

HAHAHA you guys thought I get laid for a second there.

@Go2Slp: "Oh, beautiful. Just perfect. I wonder if I'll be able to control myself... aaaand they're gone."

- Me with Thin Mints, and women.