@Gooooats: Meghan Markle is going to be bummed when she finds out that her royal duties include getting up at 3:00 every morning to wind up Big Ben.
@Gooooats: My daughter can just cut and paste into google translate to do her French homework, and she learns nothing. When I was her age I had to learn nothing the hard way.
@Gooooats: I can no longer remember if I'm wearing clothes under this huge pile of candy wrappers.
@Gooooats: Me: I love you.
Me: tah. I love Utah. So many national parks.
@Gooooats: If you ask me to hold a bag of any kind of candy, all the red ones will be gone before you get it back.
@Gooooats: According to science the atoms in my body contain the energy of 30 hydrogen bombs, and yet not enough energy to get up early and go jogging.
@Gooooats: Instead of food, I put a note in my kid's lunchbox that says, "just steal a sandwich from one of the weaker children."