@GrandadJFreeman: Me: For Christmas I want a girlfriend/boyfriend Santa: Let's be realistic lol
@GrandadJFreeman: I hate when new parents ask who the baby looks like. It was born 15 minutes ago, it looks like a potato.
@GrandadJFreeman: Girls are like police. Even when they get a hold of all the evidence, they still want to hear the truth from you...
@GrandadJFreeman: In 1911: Dracula used to drink virgin girls blood ... In 2012: he died of hunger.
@GrandadJFreeman: My favorite part of The Lion King is the part where Nicki Minaj held up baby Simba.