Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of GrumpyComments's best tweets

@GrumpyComments : Stormtrooper 1: You ever think that maybe we're with the bad guys? Stormtrooper 2: Nah, lets just head back to the Death St... to the ship.

@GrumpyComments: Batman walks into a Wayne Enterprise meeting and starts talking stocks. He realises he forgot to change. He drops a gas pellet and runs out.

@GrumpyComments: By the time you finish reading this tweet, you will be slightly closer to death than you were before.

I hope it was worth it.

@GrumpyComments: Tip for drowning your enemies:

Paint pictures of people yawning on the bottom of their swimming pool.

@GrumpyComments: Found my cat reading To Kill A Mockingbird. I told him that it didn't actually involve killing birds, but he said he liked courtroom dramas.

@GrumpyComments: If a villain really wanted to kill James Bond, he should just inject HIV into one of his attractive cohorts and then wait.

@GrumpyComments: It takes a keen ear to pick out a girl's "I haven't finished but I know you're about to, so I'll try to be supportive" moan.