Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of HallpassCanada's best tweets

@HallpassCanada : You know you're getting old when you have to have a drink to motivate you to go out & have a drink.

@HallpassCanada: Everyone always wants to date the hot crazy chick.....Till you're standing outside watching your house burn.

@HallpassCanada: The "Beware of Cat" sign posted outside my house doesn't seem to be having the desired affect.

@HallpassCanada: Happy Thursday guys and remember. If you can't spot the douche at work today, then it's probably you.

@HallpassCanada: If you're a grown man walkin around with a winter hat that has animal ears I can tell that @ some point people used 2 take your lunch money

@HallpassCanada: For the record ladies, your insecurities about your bodies is a bigger turn off to guys than your bodies ever could be.

@HallpassCanada: Not sure if i should be proud of this or not, but our employee handbook had 37 new rules added since i started working here.

@HallpassCanada: Whenever someone asks how i'm doing & walks away before i answer..I write "GREAT" on the side of thier car with my keys!

@HallpassCanada: My phone dies quicker than the black guy in a horror movie.