@HandyJack420 : My daughter just finished watching Frozen so, counting today that's 12,521,865,635,869 times since Tuesday
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@HandyJack420: The Dominos "tracker" says Ashley just left with my pizza so I only have a few minutes to get naked. Just glad it's not Brad...
...again.
@HandyJack420: Miley Cyrus has her tongue out more than Jabba the Hutt.
@HandyJack420: Wait...so I get a million dollars AND I get to punch a baby in the face?
-me when someone asks if I would punch a baby for a million bucks