Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets
If bad ads/pop-ups are redirecting you, please take a screenshot and email it to [email protected]. Help us keep the site clean!
@Heldinchains : It's crazy how quick women are to cut each other's throats over a guy!
I mean I'd understand if it were shoes....but a guy???
@Heldinchains: Autocorrect changed honey to homey.
Now, instead of going out to a romantic dinner we will be doing a drive-by.
@Heldinchains: You say kidnapping. I say surprise adoption.
Get in the van.
@Heldinchains: My kid just said his dinner tasted like cat litter.
Not sure if I should be offended or wonder how he knows what cat litter tastes like.
@Heldinchains: You gotta wet it first, doesn't work dry. The wetter the better.
-whistling you perverts
@Heldinchains: The older you get the less people you can actually tolerate.
I can tolerate about 5 people right now, 3 are my children and even that's iffy