Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of HiddenPinky's best tweets

@HiddenPinky : Guy 1: I do a poor impression of Sean Connery. Guy 2: Shame.

@HiddenPinky: "Nice one."
- me to my son, who is just learning to write numbers

@HiddenPinky: Accidentally went to Rouge One instead of Rogue One. Boy is my face red.

@HiddenPinky: [Home after awful day at work, my dog greets me]
Me: At least somebody's happy to see me!
Dog: *shakes head, pulls banana from pocket*

@HiddenPinky: The limerick writers on Twitter
Can be justifiably bitter
The limited length
Is weakness, not strength
And throws our last lines down the sh

@HiddenPinky: Buddhist Monk sees kid in Nirvana t-shirt:
"You like Nirvana? What's your favorite step on the 8-fold Path?"
Kid: Nevermind
"Yeah, me, too."

@HiddenPinky: Will I ever be a good parent?
*shakes baby*
Wait a minute, if you're here
[cut to Magic 8-Ball in crib]

@HiddenPinky: ENTER PASSWORD
> bench85
PASSWORD TOO WEAK. TRY AGAIN.
> bench285
BRO!

@HiddenPinky: Hi, I'd like a salamus sandwich, please.
"You mean salami?"
No, just a single salamus.
"People who make Latin jokes are a bunch of ani."