Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of Hobo_Splendido's best tweets

@Hobo_Splendido : local police are looking for a peeping tom, I'm heading over to pick up an application

@Hobo_Splendido: Autoerotic asphyxiation? No thanks, I'm not much of a car guy.

@Hobo_Splendido: The Church used to teach that all babies that die go to Limbo, but it was easy for them because they're so short.

@Hobo_Splendido: For the low, low price of $14.95, I'll send you my instructional DVD, "How to Succeed as a Con Man."

@Hobo_Splendido: I won the local hot dog eating contest and didn't even know I was competing.

@Hobo_Splendido: The "self-lubricated catheter" and the "discreet pocket catheter" have me rethinking what role catheters ought to be playing in my life.

@Hobo_Splendido: I'll do unspeakable things to you, baby, like vqtkjx and zqkpmr.

@Hobo_Splendido: All these years you thought your grandma had Alzheimers, and turns out she just didn't want to talk to you.

@Hobo_Splendido: Did it hurt when YOU fell from heaven?
If so, contact the law offices of Leon Molowitz, and get the monetary compensation you deserve!