Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of Hobo_Splendido's best tweets

@Hobo_Splendido : "did I catch you at a bad time?" - yeah, I'm awake and I'm sober

@Hobo_Splendido: Cool I just discovered I can speak my tweets into my phone exclamation mark

@Hobo_Splendido: I baked cookies in an EZ Bake oven when I was eleven and now they're ready.

@Hobo_Splendido: local police are looking for a peeping tom, I'm heading over to pick up an application

@Hobo_Splendido: Autoerotic asphyxiation? No thanks, I'm not much of a car guy.

@Hobo_Splendido: The Church used to teach that all babies that die go to Limbo, but it was easy for them because they're so short.

@Hobo_Splendido: For the low, low price of $14.95, I'll send you my instructional DVD, "How to Succeed as a Con Man."

@Hobo_Splendido: I won the local hot dog eating contest and didn't even know I was competing.

@Hobo_Splendido: The "self-lubricated catheter" and the "discreet pocket catheter" have me rethinking what role catheters ought to be playing in my life.