@HomeProbably: When someone says they love me to the moon and back, I tell them that’s only about 500,000 miles and I expect more tbh.
@HomeProbably: I thought getting old would include more naps, but I’m starting to suspect that old people only close their eyes to ignore everyone.
@HomeProbably: I always thought that saying, 'the more, the merrier' was referring to alcohol, not people.
Now it doesn't make any sense at all.
@HomeProbably: A dog just came up to me to say hello and the owner dragged him off.
Jealousy will get you nowhere, pal.
@HomeProbably: Dogs look like they’ve received some really sad news when they watch you eat.