@HomeProbably: A dog just came up to me to say hello and the owner dragged him off.
Jealousy will get you nowhere, pal.
@HomeProbably: Dogs look like they’ve received some really sad news when they watch you eat.
@HomeProbably: You'd think I was wanted for murder the way I react when someone knocks on my door..
@HomeProbably: [at restaurant]
Table for two please.
“Do you have reservations?”
Yes, this place looks like a dump but I’m hungry.
@HomeProbably: I gave my son an iPhone for Christmas and I haven’t seen him since.
Parenting is easy.