@HomeProbably: Material possessions mean nothing to me.
I don't think I can make it through this week.
@HomeProbably: Me: What makes you think I have trouble letting go?
Her: You woke me up at 3am to ask that?
@HomeProbably: Top 3 times you should never play with a woman's hair:
1) When she's angry.
2) Just had a haircut.
3) If you don't know her.
@HomeProbably: I asked for the phonebook, my girlfriend called me an antique and gave me her phone.
I don't care, the spider's dead.
@HomeProbably: It's amazing what happens when you take a little time to get to know someone.
They become even more annoying.
@HomeProbably: My parents were very inspirational, they used to say:
"You can do whatever you want in life, as long as you don't do it here."
@HomeProbably: "Can I borrow your charger?"
Me: Sure. *offers keys to my pristine 1969 Dodge Charger Daytona*
"I meant for my iPhone."
Me: Oh, hell no.
@HomeProbably: What do you call a man who does all the cooking, cleaning and washing without complaint?