@Home_Halfway : [Running into a friend]
FRIEND: Hey it's good to see you! We should get together soon!
ME: Totally!
FRIEND: How about Friday?
ME: Yeah let's do it soon
FRIEND: Right, like Friday?
ME: Take care!
FRIEND: So, Friday?
ME: *grabs their collar* Stop trying to make this happen
Follow @Home_Halfway
@Home_Halfway: Sewing: For when you want to stab something 1000 times, but don't want to kill someone.
@Home_Halfway: DATE: What do you do for a living?
ME: I create makeup kits
DATE: Oh that's so cool
ME: Yeah, I'll put one together for you
DATE: Aww you're making me blush
@Home_Halfway: AGE 21: I haven't slept in 3 days cause of finals but I'm gonna party all night and do a pub crawl tomorrow
AGE 35: Sorry I'd love to come to dinner but my eye is watery and I'm gonna be resting for the next week
@Home_Halfway: [Texting]
ME: I miss you
KIDNAPPER: Stop texting me from the trunk
@Home_Halfway: ME: If you had the Sorting Hat on, which Hogwarts House do you think you'd be assigned to
DATE: Idk, none of that is real
ME: I bet I'd be in Hufflepuff
DATE: Okay
ME:
DATE:
ME;
DATE:
ME: Do you think Snape's clothes were soft
DATE: I gotta go
@Home_Halfway: [1912]
ME: I'm gonna tickle you!
CAPTAIN: Hahaha come on stop
ME: Tickle tickle!
CAPTAIN: Haha stop it, I gotta drive this huge ship
ME: Tickling you more!
CAPTAIN: Hahahaha hold on hold on lemme get us around this iceberg
@Home_Halfway: [Hopeless romantic phone sex line]
PHONE SEX OPERATOR: Tell me what you're wearing
ME: My heart on my sleeve
PSO: Very nice. Turn on Hallmark
ME: Oh no, you're bad
PSO: Pretend you're the guy in this movie kissing Amy Smart at the skating rink
ME: Mmm she smells of magnolia
@Home_Halfway: DATE: So how long have you lived here?
ME: *dramatically slams the menu on the table* I don't live in the restaurant, Claudia
@Home_Halfway: "Donatello" ~ Italian man telling me to keep a secret