@Home_Halfway: When a barista dies coffee beans are placed on each eye before they float down a frappuccino river to forever misspell the names of the dead
@Home_Halfway: I forgot the name for a beaver the other day so I referred to them as "architect squirrels."
@Home_Halfway: Not sure what to do with your hands while on a date? Carry two swords. Next question
@Home_Halfway: FLEETWOOD MAC: Tell me lies, tell me sweet little lies
ME: Ok. Bears always catch salmon cause they think they're saving them from drowning
@Home_Halfway: I always have a nightlight on when I go to bed in case someone breaks in and wants to see how cute I look when I'm sleeping.
@Home_Halfway: DATE'S FATHER: What business do you have with my daughter
ME: Oh this isn't a work thing, we're gonna watch a movie and smooch all night
@Home_Halfway: *enters password*
[Your password must contain numbers and letters]
ROMAN CITIZEN: IT DOES, WTF