@HonestToddler: So quick to claim someone on your taxes yet so slow to make them a snack.
@HonestToddler: Toddler: I don't like you. *hits*
Adult: I don't like you. *tracks your movements for the rest of your life*
@HonestToddler: Toilet won't stop throwing up. I didn't know it was Legos intolerant. SEND HELP THIS IS NOT A DRILL
@HonestToddler: Parents: It's unfair to put your toddler on a leash if you're not going to also let them pee next to parked cars.
@HonestToddler: Tonight's bedtime story was about three pigs struggling with repeat home invasions. Thanks for the new fear.