Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of INDlAN_'s best tweets

@INDlAN_ : If you think it hurts to lose a boyfriend/girlfriend, you've clearly never lost close to 500 GB's worth of data on your hard drive.

@INDlAN_: Cops call their dogs K-9 because if they call K-10,
then it’s a cat.

@INDlAN_: Dad- I want you to have everything in this world that your heart desires.
*Can I have oreos?*
[NO]

@INDlAN_: [2:30AM]
*it’s quite late now. Let’s make a call*
*Hey Boss, are you sleepin?*
[Yes you nerd, why?]
*cause I’m still doing your stupid work*

@INDlAN_: I’m still waiting for the day my patents will say:
“It’s all fake son, we’re millionaires, this was just to teach you how to be humble.

@INDlAN_: Adulthood is like looking both sides before crossing the street and them getting hit by an airplane.

@INDlAN_: If you don’t sleep now, you’ll sleep during the exam. If you sleep now, you’ll fail in the exam. Life is a mess.

@INDlAN_: Parents: Your room is a mess.

Me: You really need to see my life.

@INDlAN_: *lost in China*
Friend: ask that man where we are

Me [pretending to speak Chinese with a local]: xian chan sēn

F: well?
Me: we’re in China

@INDlAN_: HER: let’s be open about how we really feel. I’ll go first I love you.

ME: Ok well... I really, really, don’t want Naruto to end

HER: wtf?