Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of ImSoFrancis's best tweets

@ImSoFrancis : [if my brain were a computer] uhg why's the calculator app being so slow *closes math tab to reveal 53 other tabs all playing cottoneye joe*

@ImSoFrancis: [ field trip to the zoo ]
Teacher: what's your favorite animal?
Debra: I like zebras!
Deborah: I like zeborahs!

@ImSoFrancis: *tornado takes out half of my house*

Me: (without looking up from my phone) hey guys is the internet not working for you?

@ImSoFrancis: Astronaut: I never loved you

Me: how could you say that?

Astronaut: it's the truth

Me: no I mean like, sound doesn't travel in a vacuum

@ImSoFrancis: Drug Dealer: are you wearing a wire?

Me: the only wire I'm wearing is why're you still single?

Cops Outside In Van: *collective groan*

@ImSoFrancis: BREAKING NEWS: Scientists have discovered what may be the worlds largest bed sheet. More on that as it unfolds.

@ImSoFrancis: Food just tastes better upside-down
1. upside-down cake
2. hamburgers
3. not cereal tho
4. oh no cereal is everywhere
5. why did I do this