Funny Tweeter

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Page of Ivsy01's best tweets

@Ivsy01 : Breaking up (be mature, be mature, be mature) Me: (eating chips) you can't use the carpool lane anymore.

@Ivsy01: Keep it mysterious, ladies...

Him: See you next time. Me: Maybe.

Him: Do you want your receipt?

@Ivsy01: (Writing in food journal)

me: for lunch I had sa.........
trainer: (interrupting) salad. awesome.
me: sake.

@Ivsy01: People who try to beat you when walking into a store. No.

@Ivsy01: Me:(Standing on a Bosu Ball at bootcamp) No one tells us what to do.

Trainer(rolling eyes) Rene, get down. You asked me to teach this.

@Ivsy01: What's your favorite song?-Me, to a baby wearing a Metallica shirt at the grocery store.

@Ivsy01: A guy in line next to me just asked me to hold his coffee and I'm like I'm not looking for anything serious right now.

@Ivsy01: Room service: Would you like your glass of wine before din...Me:(interrupting) YES.

@Ivsy01: Him: (on phone) Why are you single? Me: (watching a movie about a killer tire) I don't know.

@Ivsy01: Me:Thank you, he's so hot I don't even know what I want to do first...Grandma: (interrupting) Okay, can someone else say the prayer please?