@Iwriteforcats: THE HORROR!
SO MUCH BLOOD!
WHY IS THIS HAPPENING?!
-It's raining men.
@Iwriteforcats: Cats make the best boyfriends because they're soft, loyal, and won't claim they're straight but then turn gay after one lousy date, BRENT!
God: Finally a day of rest. I could really use a chicken sandwich and a milkshake.
*walks up to Chick-fil-A*
OH COME ON!!
@Iwriteforcats: The best part of marriage is when your spouse goes on a diet and you don't have to share your snacks.
@Iwriteforcats: Geppetto: Whew it's a cold one.
G: Fire's running low.
G: Wonder *sharpens axe* where I could get some wood.
@Iwriteforcats: James is coming over.
"James from work or James who thinks he's a leprechaun?"
J: TOP O' THE MORNIN' TO YA!
"I'll hide the Lucky Charms."
@Iwriteforcats: Hideous monsters for sale! Selling cheap! Crazy wild beasts! Won't last long!
"Honey, stop trying to sell the kids."
@Iwriteforcats: Pharmacies could save a lot of hassle and just have customers walk through a denim detector to see if they're cooking meth.