Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of Izianikapani's best tweets

@Izianikapani : Whoever said you can't hurry love, never had kids knocking on the bedroom door.

@Izianikapani: Make bowling your first date. If he rents small shoes and jams his fingers in the wrong holes don’t bother with a second.

@Izianikapani: Wearing pigtails to relive my youth and scare men when I turn around.

@Izianikapani: Water towers were invented so angst ridden teenagers had something to climb in 80s movies.

@Izianikapani: Given that our animals have pockets I think we can agree that Australia is more evolved than the rest of the world.

@Izianikapani: Saw a video for vegan cauliflower icecream on fb and heard the four horsemen of the apocalypse thunder overhead.

@Izianikapani: Who told cauliflower it can be anything it wants?

@Izianikapani: Goldfish: did you remember to take out the garbage?
Elephant: [rolls eyes]
Goldfish: did you remember to take out the garbage?

@Izianikapani: In Australia we say tuna not tuna fish because tuna cow and tuna chicken are not readily available here.

@Izianikapani: Him:When do you get off?

Me: Usually once you go to sleep

Him:

Me:

Him:

Me: Oh you mean work? 6 o'clock Hun, see you then.