Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of Izianikapani's best tweets

@Izianikapani : Saw a video for vegan cauliflower icecream on fb and heard the four horsemen of the apocalypse thunder overhead.

@Izianikapani: Who told cauliflower it can be anything it wants?

@Izianikapani: Goldfish: did you remember to take out the garbage?
Elephant: [rolls eyes]
Goldfish: did you remember to take out the garbage?

@Izianikapani: In Australia we say tuna not tuna fish because tuna cow and tuna chicken are not readily available here.

@Izianikapani: Him:When do you get off?

Me: Usually once you go to sleep

Him:

Me:

Him:

Me: Oh you mean work? 6 o'clock Hun, see you then.

@Izianikapani: Food that tastes nothing like its name:
egg roll
pineapple
hamster

@Izianikapani: "I refuse to be part of an apartheid system that reveres whiteness and segregates those of colour"

"Just do the damn laundry"

@Izianikapani: Please don't tell my kids they haven't got a pet chameleon.

@Izianikapani: Pandas, skunks and zebras are the oldest species on Earth, dating back to long before colour was invented.

@Izianikapani: I read my daughter a book about a Frogapotamus last night and dreamt of riding one. Tonight I'm reading her Hugh Jackman's autobiography.