Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of JKNenagh's best tweets

@JKNenagh : 7: Dad what does this word mean Me: Bring me a dictionary *Smack up side the head Me: Now go google that shit

@JKNenagh: Who the hell invented Bull Riding?

"Hey, I'm gonna hop on that 2,000 pound pissed off animal...Time me!!!"

@JKNenagh: Girls are a lot like oceans,

beautiful

and deep

but once a month

it's shark week.

@JKNenagh: Policeman:"Sir, we have sufficient evidence to believe that this vehicle has been stolen.

Me: how

Policeman: Step out of the tank Sir

@JKNenagh: I saw a guy walking 4 dogs this morning and thought, Wow!.. That guy must be really blind.

@JKNenagh: Love putting on underwear fresh out of the dryer. They're so warm and cozy, and it's fun.

* scans the laundromat and guess whose they are.

@JKNenagh: I often worry about the safety of my children ... Especially the one who is still awake at midnight and talking back right now.

@JKNenagh: Mom: If all your friends jumped off a cliff would you do it too?

Me:If all parents used that same metaphor would you use it too?

#slapped

@JKNenagh: My wife and I use the pull-out method of birth control where we pull out our phones and ignore each other every night

@JKNenagh: a duck was about to cross the road when a chicken came running up and said... don't do it man ... you will never here the end of it!