@JKickinit30: I just want a shirt pocket chipmunk who flips people off and I reward him with pistachios cuz he’s worth it.
@JKickinit30: Personal Jesus is my favourite song about people who try to hoard little baby Jesus.
@JKickinit30: The perks of being single:
* not having to share the remote
* sleeping diagonal in bed
* never having to clear browser history
@JKickinit30: It's amazing when you hug someone you haven't seen in decades. It's also embarrassing when it's not the person you thought it was.
@JKickinit30: *touches your nose*
*touches your mouth*
*touches your forehead*
Them: Why are you touching me?
Me: Gotta be a mute button somewhere