@JKickinit30: [job interview]
HR: You put that you were the branch manager...
Me: *empties pocket of sticks* Next question...
@JKickinit30: I’m sorry that I used your cats as pom-poms but sometimes you need to improvise when your song comes on.
@JKickinit30: People that say you can’t get blood from a stone have obviously never tried hitting someone in the face with it.
@JKickinit30: Going out for chupacabras is not as fun as it may sound. Just because it sounds like mexican food doesn’t mean that it actually is.
@JKickinit30: Your pronunciation of the word surreal is why I have trust issues.
*puts away bowl and spoon
@JKickinit30: I like to assert dominance on elevators by facing everyone and doing subtle hip thrusts.
@JKickinit30: I just want a shirt pocket chipmunk who flips people off and I reward him with pistachios cuz he’s worth it.
@JKickinit30: Personal Jesus is my favourite song about people who try to hoard little baby Jesus.