Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of JT_IV_'s best tweets

@JT_IV_ : I like restaurants because the people have to be nice and feed you.

@JT_IV_: Men simply like to adjust their junk,
it's not pocket science.

@JT_IV_: I hope the people that monitor my sleep study tonight like watching a man scratch his taint.

@JT_IV_: Keep your friend's toast, but keep your enemy's toaster.

@JT_IV_: What kind of paperwork do I need to fill out to get a permit to set my children free in the wild?

@JT_IV_: Mario and Luigi fight to the death, in "The Plunger Games".

@JT_IV_: If you are cornered by raccoons in the wild then place your thumb and index finger tips together- make a bandit mask. They will accept you.

@JT_IV_: Starbucks puts the fee in coffee