Funny Tweeter

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Page of Jake_Vig's best tweets

@Jake_Vig : It would be easier if they just reported which parts of the globe aren't on fire and don't have hurricanes.

@Jake_Vig: WHERE WAS OBAMA DURING THE SAN FRANCISCO EARTHQUAKE OF 1906???

@Jake_Vig: DR: Your cholesterol is high. What have you been eating?

ME: Mostly cholesterol.

@Jake_Vig: The woman in line behind apparently wants to slowly put her body inside of mine.

@Jake_Vig: If taking off your pants doesn't solve your problems, get different problems.

@Jake_Vig: It's not an argument. I'm right, and you're just saying things.

@Jake_Vig: Couples are the worst, followed closely by single people.

@Jake_Vig: The pottery scene in "Ghost," except you're slowly but steadily pushing the other person's face into the clay.

@Jake_Vig: When someone compliments you, etiquette dictates that you respond with "That is accurate."