@Jake_Vig: Whoever keeps dressing our president in golf clothes and putting him in golf carts, please stop, he's trying to make phone calls and work.
@Jake_Vig: Netflix and scroll through the selections until it’s too late to start watching anything.
@Jake_Vig: I didn’t set my clocks back. I’m writing this from one hour in your future. We have jet packs.
@Jake_Vig: Someone just gave the agenda for the "third half" of our meeting. Guessing it won't involve fractions.
@Jake_Vig: The correct amount of coffee is the amount where, if you perished, your heart would continue to beat for a good 2-3 days.
@Jake_Vig: It would be easier if they just reported which parts of the globe aren't on fire and don't have hurricanes.
@Jake_Vig: DR: Your cholesterol is high. What have you been eating?
ME: Mostly cholesterol.