@Jandalize: Yes, I have a fitness app. I use it to time how long it takes the pizza delivery guy to get here.
@Jandalize: If you have three cookies and one is oatmeal raisin, you only have two cookies.
@Jandalize: People who say 'be careful what you wish for' have obviously never wished for free, unprotected, unlimited wifi from their neighbor.
@Jandalize: Horrifically awaiting the day all the shampoo bottles in my shower decide to squeeze me back.
@Jandalize: Got excited because I found $20 in the laundry. Then I remembered my kids don't have jobs and the money was probably mine.
@Jandalize: Sometimes it's hard to nap at work. Like, when the boss is standing beside you or when you don't have a job.