Funny Tweeter

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Page of JediGigi's best tweets

@JediGigi : [end of date] Him: I'll text you soon. Her: Cool. I'll just sit here in your car until you do.

@JediGigi: Him: I'm leaving you.
Me: [can't hear him because I'm trying to breakdance in my bubble wrap suit]

@JediGigi: Him: I have feelings for you.
Me: I'd rather you have cake for me.

@JediGigi: [1st date]
Him: This is fun
Me: It is
Him: The last girl I went on a date with was the craziest person I've ever met

@JediGigi: Boss: I need you to come into work at 7 instead of 9 tomorrow.
Me: Can't.
Boss: Why?
Me: I'll be asleep until 8:30.

@JediGigi: Him: How'd you get so cute?

Me: I-I-my gosh, I really don't know. I'm not very good at biology.

@JediGigi: Mom asked me what it's like being a single middle aged woman so I took a handful of cat & dog hair from my purse and threw it in her coffee.

@JediGigi: Robber: Give me your valuables
Me: *hands him piece of paper*
Robber: What's this?
Me: My Netflix password.

@JediGigi: I always carry a jar gripper with me in case I'm ever stranded on a deserted island with a jar of salsa. I also always carry a jar of salsa.

@JediGigi: The date was going really well until he told me to stop calling it Pasghetti.