@Jennuflect: [me as a DJ]
Where my single ladies at?
This one's for you
*turns off music, serious tone*
This is a bad place to meet men
@Jennuflect: *wakes up w/phone in hand*
Me:[texting] Sorry I fell asleep on ya last night
Couch: I'm like right here why are you texting me?
@Jennuflect: Not tryin' to brag, but my sex life is like a dormant volcano. It was fiery, but now it's inactive. Also, I killed a bunch of villagers.
@Jennuflect: [taking my final breaths after a freak accident]
Tell my family I totes love them
*gasping for air*
but like, roll your eyes real hard
@JennUflect: Teens are like the Magic 8ball of humans, they think they have all the answers & you want to shake them because what they said was stupid.