Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of Jennuflect's best tweets

@Jennuflect : [At a 5 star restaurant] *gestures at entire menu* Are any of these words fancy speak for chicken fingers and fries?

@Jennuflect: [me as a DJ]
Where my single ladies at?
*drunk responses*
This one's for you
*turns off music, serious tone*
This is a bad place to meet men

@Jennuflect: Q-tips have a wide variety of household uses

@Jennuflect: *wakes up w/phone in hand*
Me:[texting] Sorry I fell asleep on ya last night
*text chime*
Couch: I'm like right here why are you texting me?

@Jennuflect: Not tryin' to brag, but my sex life is like a dormant volcano. It was fiery, but now it's inactive. Also, I killed a bunch of villagers.

@Jennuflect: [taking my final breaths after a freak accident]
Tell my family I totes love them
*gasping for air*
but like, roll your eyes real hard

@JennUflect: Teens are like the Magic 8ball of humans, they think they have all the answers & you want to shake them because what they said was stupid.