Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of JessiCanadian's best tweets

@JessiCanadian : Drunk me would really appreciate a light switch on the floor.

@JessiCanadian: Me: Do you have any mini-ipods in stock? Guy: what color? Me: Any color. Guy: We don't have any. You Sir, have achieved stupid greatness.

@JessiCanadian: 8 teens in the the garage. I hear the miter saw and drill going. I'm just going to sit back and let Darwin take care of things in there.

@JessiCanadian: My dog could not protect the house from robbers if they brought a vacuum cleaner.

@JessiCanadian: I wish I could see the look of surprise and wonder on my son's face when he opens his lunchbox full of tampons today. Payback for talkback.

@JessiCanadian: Every now and then you meet someone you wish you could unhinge your jaw for. *waiting patiently*