@JoParkerBear: It's always uncomfortable when someone says you might be their soulmate, and you have to tell them you don't have a soul.
@JoParkerBear: My brain forces me to relive traumatic moments over and over and over and over, but it won't tell me where I left my laptop charger.
@JoParkerBear: I am officially lowering my dating standards to include anyone who may have access to a swimming pool. I will learn to love you. Call me.
@JoParkerBear: It's like my Grandma always says, "I died three years ago. This is starting to get weird."
@JoParkerBear: Sometimes, I think I have had enough personal embarrassment for one lifetime, but then, I'm all like, "No."
[rises from chair]
@JoParkerBear: They said if gay marriage became legal, people would start marrying dogs and cats, but I guess that was just another bs political promise.
@JoParkerBear: Friend: [rubs my shoulder] Aw, honey, your life isn't over. It's just beginning!
Me: *sobs even harder
@JoParkerBear: UK: Hey u ok
UK: I saw what happened
USA: Im fine, nothing happened
Canada: Hey I know what I said before but you can't stay over