Funny Tweeter

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Page of JohnsonDiaz21's best tweets

@JohnsonDiaz21 : My superpower- Finding shortest checkout line that takes the most time.

@JohnsonDiaz21: People: "You look so unapproachable"
Me: "And yet,here you are"

@JohnsonDiaz21: In college I had 3 girlfriends at the same time. 10 years and a wife later, I have 0 girlfriends. Stay in school kids.

@JohnsonDiaz21: A newly wed guy asked me about marriage. I told him it's sort of like a museum. You have to be quiet and you can't really touch anything.